HumanCyborg Relations
by fiesa
Summary: R2-D2 has been in his family since he can remember. Ben's relationship with the droid wasn't always good. OneShot.


**Human-Cyborg Relations**

_Summary: R2-D2 has been in his family since he can remember. Ben's relationship with the droid wasn't always good. OneShot. _

_Warning: not sure about the age-thing and the timeline. I hope I didn't mess up entirely._

_Set: Story-unrelated. If you insist on a specific timeline: during the second part of the Yuuzhan-Vong War, during the CIvil War and the threat of Darth Caedus and during Luke's and Ben's exile. And some years later. _

_Disclaimer: Standards apply. _

_

* * *

_

The white thing is beeping and whistling quietly and Ben doesn't like the sound of it.

He is four years old now; old enough to understand that the fact that he never sees his parents is not something that is _good._ Or _normal. _There are other children in Eclipse, there are many people there. Ben can sense most of them, though he doesn't really know yet why. Kam and Tionne call it _the Force _and say he's strong in it. Probably that's good – but Ben would rather know why his parents never visit him, like Valin's and Ysella's parents do. Or why his parents aren't there _always_, like Melody's parents are.

Is it him? Has he done something wrong? Why don't they come and take him with them?

_Your parents are important people, _they tell him. _Your parents are fighting so you can be safe. Your parents_ _cannot be here but they think of you always. Can't you feel them in the Force? _

Ben has come to a point in which he hates the Force.

When the instructors tell him to open his heart, to empty his mind and to merge with the Force he shuts down his mind and concentrates on something else. What will there be for dinner? Has Melody been able to find that _thing_ they have been looking for? Will Ro'an be there tomorrow so they can continue their Blassh game?

In consequence, he can only hear the voices when he is almost asleep. A soft, warm voice, maybe his mother's, a dark, reassuring one, maybe his father's. Only then, he can feel the soft caresses in the Force. In this state of half-sleep, half-dream, Ben weeps. But when he's awake, he blends out all attempts to try to establish contact with the people he misses most.

Now, there is this droid in front of him.

It's his father's, Kam has told him. Uncle Corran, Ysella's father, has brought it with him when he came to visit his children. The droid, the grown-ups told him, contained a holo message from his mother and his father, and a gift for him. For him, Ben, because they love their son and miss him as much as he misses them. They'd be back soon, for sure. They've been in a place where they were unable to send messages from, but now they're back in known space and as soon as their duties allow it they will come to take him with them.

Uncle Corran is still talking but Ben doesn't hear his words. Melody looks at him with her huge, brown eyes and smiles. She always smiles, but today there is a new kind of happiness to it. Ben wants to shout at her to stop smiling because there is absolutely no reason for it.

So this is the droid that his father took with him when he left for his dangerous mission.

This is the droid he had with him when he fought the enemies.

This is the droid that was with him when he ate, and slept, and worked, and laughed.

This droid carries a message and a gift for him, Ben, from his parents.

Ben cannot even remember their faces.

This droid can.

Ben uses both his hands and his entire will to push the droid away.

It's not much, but the shattering noise as the droid hits the wall and its surprised warbling as well as the gasps of surprise from the adults around him are satisfying.

Ben turns on his heels and runs from the room without a further backwards glance. For the rest of the day, he hides in one of the huge supply cupboards of Eclipse.

* * *

Artoo is whistling in alarm and Ben doesn't want to hear it now.

He is thirteen years old; old enough to understand that whatever Jacen is doing is wrong, utterly and entirely wrong. He doesn't even need the aid of the Force, which is screaming in alarm, to know. Watching his teacher, cousin and friend torture a living creature for information makes him sick and he has to use every restraint he has trained himself to hold back now. If he shows any sign of weakness, Jacen will know. And that will be the beginning of the end.

Three years.

Three years since he first opened up entirely to the Force, three years since he accepted Jacen's proposal of teaching him. Three years since he had begun to understand what it was that had made his parents act like they had – leaving him alone his entire childhood – though he still cannot grasp the entirety of their decision and still resents them for it. Sometimes, at least. He forgets it when his mother wakes him with hot chocolate and pancakes, or when his father takes him for a trip to Tatooine, or when they spent their weekends together on Mon Calamari, to visit Aunt Leia and Uncle Han, Allanna, Jaina and all the others.

When had it started to go wrong? Ben knows he's only an apprentice, and as such he is in no place to question his teacher's orders. But _this_ contradicts everything his Dad has taught him about the Force (Ben _has_ listened, even though it didn't seem like it) and everything he _knows_ is good and right.

He might only be fifteen, but there has to be an advantage of growing up in a society of people who serve the Unifying Force.

But this is _Jacen_.

Jacen has experienced so much, has been through so much. He never told the stories himself, but others have. Jacen, who has been tortured by the Yuuzhan Vong himself – how can he inflict pain purposely on others like that? He has to know what it is like to be tortured, he has to know what it is like to be in pain.

_Jacen_, of all, has to know.

That's why Ben cannot imagine he would do it merely for fun. There has to be a reason why his cousin is doing what he is doing right now, there has to be a reason why he behaves so strangely.

There has to be.

Artoo warbles again, and a few lights blink on his canopy as he swivels around. Familiar with the droid since his fourth year, Ben can imagine what it wants him to do: to step in, to stop Jacen. To tell his father, to make sure Dad knows about this.

"Calm down", he hushes and lays a hand on Artoo's round head. "I'm sure there is a reason to it. Jacen wouldn't do anything like that if there wasn't a good reason, you know that."

Artoo doesn't sound convinced. Ben feels desperation well up inside of him because he cannot convince himself, either.

The droid turns with a mechanical whizzing and attempts to start down the corridor of the little space craft. Ben's extended hand stops him.

"No", he tells him. "Don't."

Artoo buzzes, this time urgently.

"No", Ben repeats. "Don't tell Dad. I have to find out what is happening here, and then I'll tell him myself."

Artoo warbles a response. Ben, suddenly fed up, makes a dive for the little hatch at the bottom of the durasteel casing. He's quick; and a good mechanic, too.

He only needs a few seconds to modify the droid's memory card. Artoo isn't fast enough in backing-up. And Ben regrets his decision a thousand times in the years to come.

* * *

There is only so much a human can stand and strangely, the quiet presence of a droid takes away the strain of the last weeks.

Ben is seventeen years old, too old for all the things he has experienced, too old to have seen such things as he has seen. He feels older with every day that passes. And having his father so close, looking the same as ever, doesn't help much. There is no withdrawal in the Force from the ghosts that are haunting him, no refuge for his tired soul. He wishes he could speak to Mum, but she has been dead for two years and the pain is horrid and new every day. He wishes Melody were there, but he couldn't have brought her along. She doesn't belong here; she's better off wherever she might be. Being a part of his family is dangerous enough. He doesn't want to think of what might happen to her just because she is his _best friend. _

Sometimes he thinks there is a curse on the name Skywalker.

Sometimes he thinks it's just the universe that hates them.

The Jade Sabre is quiet, all machines powered down while she is waiting for Dad to return. Normally, Ben would be waiting with the machines running on stand-by, ready to take off at any sign of danger. But they are safe here – it feels so strange after having been on the run for four months – and finally, he can take some time to get the mangled thoughts in his head straight. Sitting in the co-pilot's chair, Ben closes his eyes and prepares to delve into the Force. But then, he hesitates, opens them again and watches his surroundings. This ship has been his mother's, and he can still detect traces of her wherever he looks. Sometimes, he and Dad still find a tiny hiding compartment with a concealed weapon or other important and unimportant things. The ship has become a home to him – it _is_ his home now, since they have nowhere else to go. His eyes travel through the compartment and come to rest on the silent figure of Artoo in his socket. The droid is quiet, reloading his batteries and updating his programs, and suddenly, Ben smiles. He is at home. The universe cannot reach him here.

He closes his eyes and delves into the Force.

It's always the Force. He is one with it, lives with it as his father has taught him, as his mother has showed him, and he finds calm and strength in it. Here, he sometimes hears his mother's voice, here, he feels Melody's distant touch, here, he gains insight and help when he searches, asks the right questions.

And if it isn't the Force, it's his father.

Probably, Ben won't be able to understand what it was that has prompted his parents to leave him to himself when he was a baby, what made his parents wait patiently until he was ready to open to the Force, what lets them still love him that much. He sees it whenever his father looks at him: the love in his face, in his actions. He cannot understand why this love is as unconditional as it seems to him but still, it is. His father is there whenever he needs him, listens to him whenever he feels like talking and leaves him when he doesn't feel like it. He feels, as always, the warm touch in the Force as their connection deepens at his thoughts and he smiles slightly, his eyes still closed.

A droid warbles.

"What's the matter, Artoo?" Ben asks and lifts himself from the chair. The dome rotates and a few lights blink. The soft beeping is so familiar to him that he can read the meaning from the sequence of whistles. "Incoming message? Send it trough the Sabre's comm."

A positive warbling noise is heard and a familiar face appears before him.

"Hey, Ben. It's good to see you. Everything alright?"

Melody smiles at him, her face so familiar he feels a painful jolt.

"Hey, Mel. Everything's fine with us. How is it on your side of the Galaxy?"

His friend's face turns serious.

"Not as good as it could be. Hey – is Master Luke there? I have a message from Cilghal and Leia…"

"He'll be there in a few seconds."

Truth is; Ben can already feel his father's presence at the hatch of the Sabre. Disappointed, he leans back. "He's coming."

"Ben?"

"Yes?"

"Take care."

"You, too."

Two hours later, Ben is already in his tiny alcove in the living quarters of the ship, Artoo's warbling makes him look up from a set of data cards he has been studying. The droid seems… happy.

"What is it, Artoo?"

Another squeal and a holo-projection appears. Ben stares at Melody's frozen face in disbelief.

"You saved the image?"

Artoo whistles and sounds like a conspirator.

Ben can't help himself: He starts laughing so hard his father comes to find out what's so funny. Ben has to throw himself on Artoo to make him hide the image immediately.

* * *

His father has told Artoo, not him.

Ben is twenty-four years old and the eight years of exile have almost ended by now. He is painstakingly aware of every passing day that brings them closer to being able to return to Coruscant, to return to their home galaxy. Aunt Leia, Jaina and Mel have tried to keep them updated, have sent holos and letters and little gifts. But these eight years they have been away feel like eternity for him. _It's because you're still young_, his father tells him and chuckles at the thought. He's in his late sixties now and sometimes Ben has the feeling that he is growing senile. And then, his father does something to surprise him again and all thoughts of an old Luke Skywalker, sitting in his rocking chair with a blanket and watching old holo dramas, disappear again. Ben has seen a lot for a person of his age; has experienced a lot and yet – his father is able to surprise him day and day again.

What he somewhat misses are companions of his age.

In his family, even in his extended Solo-Skywalker Clan, he is the youngest one. He gets along great with Jaina, or, rather, he got along well with her before they left. He loves his aunt and uncle and little Allana, and from what he remembers he thinks Jagged Fel is a decent guy so he's fine with Jaina finally marrying him. And there, of course, are all the Jedi he has grown up with: Cilghal and Tekli, Saba and Tesar Sebatyne, Kyp Durron, Tyria Tainer and her son, Corran and Mirax, Valin and Ysella… But fact is he hasn't seen anyone of them for the last eight years and they are all older than he is. They have their lives and their friends and somehow, he is more afraid of returning home than he was of leaving it.

He can't tell Dad. Even if he already knows. This is something he has to get along with by himself.

Of course, when he was a child on Eclipse and then on Ossus, there were many other Jedi children he could have been friends with. And there was Melody. She had been his best friend and they had succeeded in turning away anyone else who tried to fit into their tight friendship. Which left him now, when returning, quite deprived of friends and connections to turn to.

And Mel sure had found other friends, other people she would laugh with and have fun, and he would stand at the sidelines and watch her life and…

Sighing, he shoved away his dark thoughts and swung his legs from his bunk. The Jade Sabre was quiet and dark, only the soft thrumming of the ventilation system was heard. Reaching out for his father in the Force, Ben stopped dead.

He felt _nothing._

Estranged, he walked through the door into the corridor, but there was no sound of life, no sign that his father was there. Following the round corridor to the ship's bridge, he found it as dark and quiet as the entire rest of it.

"Artoo?" He called out softly. A sad warble answered from outside the corridor. "Did Dad leave the ship?" Ben asked, a bad feeling creeping up in his insides. A hesitant blabbering came from the portside hatch. He followed the sound and found the droid standing guard at the half-closed hatch.

Bitterness welled up inside him, mixed with anger. Why had Dad told Artoo he was leaving instead of telling him?

"I'll check on him", he said and bent down to open the hatch entirely. A series of whistles and warbles kept him from doing so.

"What?" He asked, angry and defensive at the same time. "Am I not allowed to leave the ship?"

Artoo gave an unintelligible answer. Sighing, he leaned down to see what scrolled down the little data pad attached to the droid.

"He wants to be alone? How do you know?"

Whistling.

"Artoo, I really should check…"

Whistling. Knowing he had no chance and yet determined to stop him, Artoo extended one of his thin, metallic arms. Pain and anger swelling inside him, Ben toyed with the thought to smash the droid on the hatch and then, suddenly scared, repressed the thought. He opened up and let all the anger and disappointment flow from him until all what remained was a sense of calmness in the Force. He patted the droids' head.

"Okay. I won't leave."

Years and years later, he realized it had been a test. But who had tested him – his father or Artoo – he never got to know.

* * *

The sight of a droid in his living-room was not a strange one.

The sight of _this one_, though, hurt.

Ben was thirty-seven years old, and his world has just shattered.

"Ben?"

Melody stood up from the sofa she had been sitting on, obviously waiting for him. Her face was sunken and haggard with worry and he immediately regretted having been the reason for her sorrow. But the feeling was dulled underneath the layers of pain still coursing through his entire being.

"Are you…"

She had wanted to say _okay_ and had stopped herself because she knew he was far beyond being _okay. _Numbly, he nodded and stopped short in front of her. She looked at him, her face the same mask of sorrow he wore and which he could see reflected in her eyes. He didn't know what to do. Somehow, his world had stopped turning, the colors had dulled and blanched and he just didn't know what to do anymore.

Mel knew. She always knew, and she simply pulled him into an embrace. His arms went around her involuntarily, held her so tight she had to feel pain. But she didn't say a word, merely let him hold her like he was going to break and she was the only thing preventing him from doing so. She _was_ the only thing that kept him alive. She always had been.

She pulled him down onto the sofa and he buried his face in her hair, took in the soft scent of her skin and felt the warmth of her arms and slowly, slowly, something inside him unfroze and melted. He realized he had a voice, but he didn't want to use it, afraid he might shatter whatever of the world was left.

It was hours, really, hours later that they disentangled and she sat on his lap, her arms still around his neck. The tears that had been flowing quietly hadn't yet subsided, but she still managed to look breathtaking.

"He came in the morning", was all she said. It was enough to set loose an avalanche of memories.

The little droid in the corner gave a mournful, painfully familiar warble and beeped once.

"It's okay", Ben reassured the droid, his wife and himself. "Artoo?"

The little droid moved quietly across the room and came to stand in front of the two of them. Ben was aware that droids didn't show emotions. But he could have sworn he never had seen a droid more devastated than Artoo at that moment.

A long series of whistles and beeps was heard, and the translation flashed across the little data pad screen his father had finally installed permanently on the droid three years ago. Melody and Ben both read the words and when they were finished, Melody buried her head in his shoulder again.

"Do you want me to leave so you can see it?" She asked, her voice muffled.

He shook his head numbly and stared at the droid. Artoo warbled questioningly and Ben drew a deep breath and nodded.

"Let's see what you have for us."

It wasn't a long message. The content wasn't surprising, seeing as Ben and Melody already knew what had happened. Now they found their first thought had been correct: Luke Skywalker, first one of the new Jedi, first Master and leader of the Order of the Jedi of the Unified Force, had left them for the last time, fully aware of what would happen to him. His face was relaxed, almost happy. Ben knew why.

"They are one with the Force", he whispered quietly. Mel nodded, her face still hidden, and he tightened his grip around her. Artoo whizzed sadly one time and a last message crossed the display.

"What?" Ben said. "Oh no, Artoo. No."

Melody straightened up.

"What did he say?"

Ben shook his head.

"You're not going into retirement, Artoo. You might be a bit out-of-date, but that doesn't matter. No one can fly the Sabre like you can, and we don't want anyone else than you. You stay with us, okay?"

A slightly hopeful bleeping noise. Melody nodded, as well.

"Yes, Artoo. You can stay with us. It's just the two of us-"

At the memory of the fact that she would never be able to have children, her voice broke, but she continued bravely.

"But you can help us in other ways. Please stay with us."

Artoo's dome rotated quickly and dizzying lights blinked and calmed again. Ben almost laughed at the energy the droid suddenly seemed to emit. Then, the droid suddenly became quiet. Another message flashed through the data pad.

Ben read it slowly and smiled. It felt strange, the smile, like he hadn't yet found all the muscles necessary for turning up the corners of his lips. Also, he could feel a part of himself – the part that had always been filled with the Force connection he had shared with his father – still empty and hollow and aching terribly.

But it was a beginning.

"Oh no, Artoo, I never hated you. You are a part of my family."


End file.
